Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Gina Ortiz Jones, a Progressive, Is Elected San Antonio’s Mayor - The New York Times

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What legal actions can be taken if a neighbor's unleashed dog causes harm or injury?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour overview trailer - Nintendo Everything

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I actually pay taxes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Google’s NotebookLM now lets you share your notebook — and AI podcasts — publicly - The Verge

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Scientists Unveil a Method to Give Every Human the Ability to See in the Dark - The Daily Galaxy

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Portugal beat Spain on penalties to win Nations League - Yahoo Sports

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why do I sweat (mostly on face) when I eat usually spicy food?

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why can't white people just surrender their white privilege?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

S.A.-area rabies cases spark concern for officials. Here's why - MySA

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for fakery

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Atheists who said that reading the Bible made them an atheist, how? Literally there are millions of people who read the Bible daily and still believe in God. So why say that? I mean unless you want to sound smart & edgy

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What is the irony of life according to you?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Derrick Thompson found guilty of murder in vicious car crash that killed 5 young Somali women - Star Tribune

I can read

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

How old is planet Earth? Is it 4.5 billion years old or 6,000 years old?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I see through liars

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I can count

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t cotton to rapists

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: